A friend of mine, Roger Millington, is one of the funniest and most able copywriters I know.
So I will let him introduce this idea in his inimitable fashion: don’t treat the customer like a ****.
You can fill in the asterisks to suit yourself. They probably stand for “clot” or “fool”.
What is really a shame is when a firm which has always treated customers well stops doing so.
Since 1993 I have shown in seminars an excellent example of a thank-you letter from Viking Direct to my old PA, Denise.
However, before she moved to greener pastures she showed me three more letters from Viking that arrived at once, all addressing her as Valued Customer.
This phrase in fact means precisely the opposite of what it says.
It means “even though you’ve been buying things from us for fifteen years we can’t be bothered to make a note of your name.”
Don’t use the phrase, whatever you do.
A much better example of this sort of folly came from Jack Barclay who wrote to me a while ago. Click here to see their letter – it raises a number of interesting questions:
1) Can’t they be bothered to write personally to somebody who has squandered countless thousands on their wretched vehicles?*
2) Can’t they be bothered to find out what I drive. (I don’t drive at all actually – my wife does) – especially bearing in my mind that they seem to think I am a member of their family?
3) Just as a matter of interest when they wrote I had a flat 100 yards away from their offices and my wife was perfectly able to tell you the name of their service manager – and a quite a few other members of their staff.
The great American merchant Julius Rosenwald who built up Sears, Roebuck and Co to be the world’s biggest retailer said his ambition was to stand on both sides of the counter at once.
This is hard to do, but at the very least I recommend the following three part helpful hint which I first coined for a talk at American Express in New York some years ago:
1) Respect your customer
2) Stay close to your customer
3) Use your imagination
Best,
Drayton
P.S. This is number 22 of Drayton Bird’s 101 free helpful marketing ideas. You can sign up on the link below for the rest.
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Website: www.draytonbird.com / www.eadim.com
Click here to get 101 free helpful marketing ideas. Marketers from all over the world think they’re a pot of gold.
The Drayton Bird Blog – please do not visit if you are easily offended.
Filed under Ambition, American Express, business, Copywriters, Drayton Bird, Jack Barclay, Julius Rosenwald, Sears Roebuck And Co by on Mar 13th, 2010. Comment. 
It seems like a silly question really: Drayton Bird asking if you’d like a free video critique of some of the best adverts of all time.
But then, that’s Drayton, always under-valuing his own worth.
He just sent me his latest email from his collection of Helpful ideas. Take a look at it and send him an email (you’ll see what I mean when you get to the end).
Once you’ve got a good idea, try to make it surprising, too.
Here’s another little quiz for you, Ghulam. What do all these messages have in common?
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“The lazy man’s way to get rich” (Most people are too busy earning a living to make real money) |
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I7 ingenious (but perfectly legal) ways to avoid paying your debts |
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It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken |
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Cash if you die, cash if you don’t |
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Quite frankly, the American Express Card is not for everyone |
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Drive it like you hate it |
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“They laughed when I sat down at the piano – but when I started to play” |
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“How much should you pay … …when you’re planning to steal the ashtray? |
Did you guess what it is, besides the fact that they all made an awful lot of money for the people who ran them?
Click here for two more.
Have you guessed the common factor yet?
Well, just in case you didn’t, let me tell you that it is a special quality that I believe distinguishes marketing messages that are remarkable from those that are just good.
That quality is relevant surprise.
And my Helpful Idea No 32 is, once you’ve got a good idea, try to make it surprising, too.
But don’t be tempted to commit two grievous sins:
1. Putting forward ideas that are surprising, but utterly irrelevant.
2. Putting forward ideas that are neither surprising nor relevant.
I gave you an example of the irrelevant a while ago in the case of a fatuous commercial for Barclays Bank featuring the famous financial expert Samuel L. Jackson and a pig.
Actually, banks are very good at the fatuous.
I recall that when First Direct started they thought it a good idea to have a commercial half-witted business man waving an umbrella and splashing about in some fountain, plus ads featuring dead fish and Wellington boots.
No wonder it took them about 8 years to break even.
I saw a good example of the second sin on a poster for Vodaphone, which says “Make the most of now”. A prize to anyone who can tell me how the hell that meaningless drivel is going to make anyone choose/stay with Vodaphone.
Special offer – but only if you’re interested.
I could tell you a lot about the ads and mailings I’ve featured here that you might find useful. That’s partly because I knew five of the eight people who ran or wrote them so I can tell you about the background, and partly because I know a lot about what made them work.
If enough of you would like me to, let me know and I’ll put together a little video for you (f*r*e*e!!!) But only if you are really interested.
Let me know if you like the idea by e-mailing me with the word ‘Video’.
Best,
Drayton
P.S. This is number 32 of Drayton Bird’s 101 free helpful marketing ideas. You can sign up on the link below for the rest.
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Website: http://www.draytonbird.com / www.eadim.com
Click here to get 101 free helpful marketing ideas. Marketers from all over the world think they’re a pot of gold.
The Drayton Bird Blog – please do not visit if you are easily offended.
Filed under Adverts, American Express, copywriting, Earning A Living, how to become a copywriter, Learn Copywriting by on Jan 16th, 2010. Comment.
